First One
by Zero-A.C
Summary: Raz never was her first one. A short LiliRaz story.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Psychonauts, otherwise there would be a second part._

_Author's note: so her is the fixed version of this story xsmilex. Special thanks to Kodra, who told me about my mistakes and to The Mongoose 137 who beta-read this story for me and corrected it xthank you so muchx. Ok, here you go, please read and enjoy!_

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First one

Razputin isn't the first person she had a crush on. She would never admit this to anyone and if anyone ever found out and attempted to use that against her, she would kill them. It is simply embarrassing and totally clichéd. Because the first man she had a crush on was no other then Agent Sasha Nein and it was in her third year at Whispering Rock Summer Camp.

Razputin isn't the first new boy she found attractive. Every year there was a new boy in Whispering Rock who was somehow interesting. That was why Bobby Zilch knew exactly that Lili wouldn't mind to have Raz as her boyfriend (and because he was sitting next to her when Raz fell into camp). Every year there were one or two boys who seem to be mildly interesting and maybe could bring some action into the camp. But they just always turn out to be utterly boring.

Razputin isn't the first boy who fell into Whispering Rocks Summer Camp and caught her heart. The first boy who did, was D'artagnan one year earlier. He was cute and somehow clumsy with a ridiculous big hat. The few hours she spent with him were fun, but still the summer was as dull as always. At the end of the summer they parted and Lili made sure that he knew that next summer they wouldn't be together. She knew that he was there at Whispering Rock the year Raz fell into camp, but she just caught glimpses of him. Not that it was him she wanted to see.

Razputin isn't the first boy who read some of her more embarrassing thoughts. Too her surprise it was Chops who did. She can't remember what it was, but at this time it seemed to be utterly embarrassing. But Chops was a sweet boy and a sensible one. He smiled kindly and promised that he would never tell anyone. He never did and they spent the rest of the summer hanging out with each other and J.T., playing soft, sad music that had some hopeful undertones.

Razputin isn't the first person who rescued her from an evil madman who had kidnapped her. The first person who ever did, was her father. Never in her life had she felt so scared and never so safe when he finally freed her. That's why she wasn't so scared when Laboto held her captive, because she knew that there was someone out there who would rescue her - if she couldn't free herself of course.

Razputin isn't the first boy she kissed. The first boy she ever kissed was Bobby Zilch in her second year at Whispering Rock. The story that led to this was somehow complicated and in short it was some sort of bet, but she wouldn't ever tell anyone anyways. Neither would he. It is probably one of the best kept secrets in Whispering Rock. There are only three persons who know about it and the boy who saw them kiss is too scared to say anything (not that he ever came back to Whispering Rock again). He made the mistake to laugh when he saw them and then going to run and tell the other camp kids. The boy never made more then three steps and ended up unconsciousness and with some broken bones in the hospital. Lili and Bobby agreed on telling the Teachers that it was an accident and the boy fell down a cliff by the lake, since he hadn't learned how to levitate.

Razputin isn't the first boy whose heart she broke. The very first boy she left with a broken heart was Clem. They weren't together, but he had asked her several times. She always said no. Still, like most of the boys who were interested in her, he didn't give up after the first few times. Finally she had enough, she told him they could at best be friends, but never more. Lili knew that this led to one of his suicide attempts and she knew she should feel guilty, but she never did. After all it was his life and if he couldn't handle one single rejection and didn't notice that he was breaking his best friend's heart as well and led her to another attempt of suicide, then this was his problem. Anyways she visited him and Crystal in the hospital and probably broke his heart even more.

Razputin isn't the first boy she slept with. She would have done so, but knew he wasn't ready and two months later she broke up with him. Not because of this, but there were so many other reasons that it is the easiest thing to say. One and a half years later she slept with her current boyfriend. Dogan was really nervous and insecure, but it wasn't that bad for a first time, especially compared to what she heard about the first times of the other girls from Whispering Rock. Dogan was very careful and at least tried to please her the most he could once he overcame his first nervousness.

Razputin isn't the first man she married. The first man she married wasn't a Psychonaut and she didn't know him for too long. He made her laugh and couldn't read her thoughts, he respected her a lot and cared for her and she loved him. It never was meant to last, because he couldn't keep up with her and her powers and he was jealous of one of her fellow agents. He was the one who left her and he was the first one who told her that she still loved Raz and should try to get him back.

Razputin isn't the first man she had a relationship with twice. She started dating Elton a few weeks after she broke up with Raz, more as an attempt to forget him than her being actually interested in the fish-boy. It lasted three months. The second time she dated him was after she broke up with Dogan. Again it didn't last longer then a few weeks and the only reason why it lasted that long was, that Elton is a really good kisser.

So no, Razputin was never her first. But in the silence of their bedroom, when she watches him sleep, she knows. He was never her first, he never needed to be. After all he is the only one she wants to spend her life with.

The only one she truly loves.

END

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_Author's note: So there it is, I somehow really like how it turned out(even after all the mistakes I made). Sorry for Lili being…you know what I mean. There are some parts in this story I just needed to write, like the ones with Sasha, Bobby and Dart, they just came into my mind and I thought they were too funny not to write them. While reading it through for the second time I noticed that the last line is almost the same line I used in one of my YGO ff's, I thought about changing it but decided not to. Oh well, I really hope you enjoyed reading this and please feel free to comment!_


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